Shifting definitions

I’m working on our taxes right now. We’re expecting a nice refund, thanks in large part to school expenses. But in order to file electronically, I need to know Ashley’s “adjusted gross income” (AGI) for last year. Since she was claimed as a dependent last year, she doesn’t have an AGI. Wanting to make sure, I decided to call the IRS.

I’m sitting on hold as I write this, and every minute or so they take a break from the Tchaikovsky loop they’re playing (unfortunately, it’s only The Nutcracker) and announce, “Sorry for the wait. We are helping other customers.”

The first time I heard this announcement I gave a small chuckle. Customers? The IRS has customers? I wanted to make sure I had the correct definition of customer in my mind, so I looked it up. Google tells me:

customer, noun.  a person who buys goods or services

That’s what I thought.

The following question is both rhetorical (for those who agree with me) and serious (for those who may favor taxes/the IRS/legalized theft): What goods or services am I getting from the IRS?


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